Eating Out
When the bill comes, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $10, even though it is only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will want change back. When the girls get their bill, they take out pocket calculators.
Money
A man will gladly pay $3 for a $2 item he wants. A woman will somehow pay $2 for a $3 item that she doesn’t want.
Bathrooms
A man has totally five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is somewhere around 337. A man would hardly be able to identify any of them.
Arguments
A woman always has the last word in an argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Future
A woman worries about the future until she gets married. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can marry such man.
Marriage
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.
Looks
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Offspring
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.