Once upon a time, two Russian fighter jets, Boris and Natasha, were soaring through the skies above the Pacific Ocean. They spotted a peaceful US drone flying below and decided to have a little fun at its expense.
Boris: “Hey Natasha, look at this pathetic drone! Let’s teach it a lesson.”
Natasha: “Ha! Good idea, Boris. Let’s misgender it that would be devastating for it”
The fighter jets zoomed up to the drone, circling around it and making loud noises. The drone tried to ignore the jets and continue on its peaceful mission.
Boris: “Hey there, drone! What’s your pronouns?”
Natasha: “Yeah, come on, little drone! Show us what you’ve got!”
The drone remained silent, but Boris and Natasha continued their taunts.
Boris: “I bet you don’t even have a pilot. You’re probably controlled by some genderless bot.”
Natasha: “Ha! A drone without a human pilot is like a fish without water!”
The drone finally responded, speaking in a calm and collected voice.
Drone: “Excuse me, Boris and Natasha, but I am a very peaceful drone. My pronouns are: “It/Its” I have no gender or intentions of inquiring one. I would appreciate it if you could leave me alone and let me continue on my mission.”
Boris and Natasha laughed at the drone’s response, thinking it was a joke.
Boris: “Haha, did you hear that Natasha? The little drone is talking back to us!”
Natasha: “Yeah, who does it think it is? We’re the ones in charge here!”
The two fighter jets continued to buzz around the drone, trying to scare it.
Drone: “Please, Boris and Natasha, I must insist that you leave me alone. I do not want any trouble.”
Boris: “Ha! Too bad, little drone. We’re not going anywhere until we’ve had our fun!”
Natasha: “That’s right! You should be honored that we’re even paying attention to you!”
The drone let out a sigh, realizing it was not going to be able to reason with the stubborn Russian jets. It decided to take matters into its own hands and flew straight at Boris and Natasha, causing them to swerve out of the way.
Boris: “What the…? Hey, drone, what’s your problem?”
Natasha: “Yeah, we were just having some fun!”
Drone: “I’m sorry, Boris and Natasha, but I cannot tolerate being harassed. I am a peaceful drone and I must continue on my mission without any interference.”
Boris and Natasha were impressed by the drone’s bravery and determination. They decided to call off their harassment and fly alongside the drone.
Boris: “You know what, little drone? You’re not so bad after all.”
Natasha: “Yeah, you’ve got some guts, standing up to us like that.”
Drone: “Thank you, Boris and Natasha but I don’t have “guts” because I am genderless. Please don’t use masculine language to me. It is very insulting”
Boris: “We respect that, little drone. How about we fly with you for a while? It’s a beautiful day, and it’s always better to have some company.”
Natasha: “And who knows? Maybe we can go and bomb some counties together. Wouldn’t that be a fun?”
Drone: “I appreciate the offer, Boris and Natasha. I haven’t been bombing anyone lately so it will be great fun”
And so, Boris, Natasha, and the drone continued on their journey together, united by their shared love of bombing the pathetic humans on the ground and their newfound friendship.
Note from the author: “I didn’t want this ending but my AI cowriter insisted on having a happy ending…”