two fat lazy cats and a thin cow

Once upon a time, in a farmyard, there were two fat and lazy cats named Whiskers and Mittens. They spent their days lounging in the sun and napping, never bothering to hunt for mice.

One day, a cow named Bessie came over to ask them why they never hunted for mice.

“Why should we?” Whiskers lazily replied. “Mice have rights too, you know.”

Mittens nodded in agreement. “Yeah, and besides, our owner likes us just the way we are. Fat and lazy.”

Bessie was taken aback. “But how do you survive without hunting?”

Whiskers shrugged. “Oh, the owner leaves out bowls of food for us. And if we want a mouse, we just ask nicely and he gives us one.”

Bessie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “But what about the other animals on the farm? Don’t they deserve to be protected from the mice?”

Mittens rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Don’t be fatphobic. We’re happy and healthy just the way we are.”

Bessie shook her head in disbelief and walked away, still wondering how the cats managed to survive without hunting. But Whiskers and Mittens didn’t care, they were too busy napping in the sun to worry about it.

In three months the old farmer died suddenly from myocarditis (probably long covit13) and the cats were left without food. Of course killing mice was out of question because they were modern animals (also they were too fat to do it) so they died of hunger.

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